To be, or not to be from Hamlet act 3 scene 1

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.

~William Shakespeare

Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

~Robert Frost

Misunderstanding

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches him and tells him, "You know, a pint starts going flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I drinks one for each o' me brothers and one for me self."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three pints and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders two pints.

All the other regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs.

"Oh, no. Everyone's fine," He explains, "I just quit drinking."

Beginning death pt 2

As Nathan woke up he looked around and realized 3 things, 1 he was in some kind of white pajama looking uniform he assumed, 2 he had not just had a convincing dream, and 3 this wasn't where he had gone to sleep. This room looked the same except that there were 3 other people sleeping there in more rectangular bamboo cots and they were all about his age. All of a sudden a loud alarm sounded in the room and the same old man who Nathan had talked to walked in with a bamboo walking pole. One person had woken up, a girl Nathan was surprised to see, she had red hair and looked rather fragile, he didn't know why but he had figured this as a kind of male only military facility. Another girl got up this one was an almost identical match except that she had blond hair. The resident of the third cot still slept with a rather loud snoring. The old man gave the sleeping cots occupant onto sharp thwack with his pole in what Nathan assumed was the head. Nathan's assumption was proved correct when a red haired man sat up rubbing his head "why did ya not hit the rest o em?" asked the red haired man who had been looking at the other three people, "because they were awake" the old man said as one imparting great widome. The old man the turned his attention from the red haired man to the rest of them "this is the first day of your training, you may call me sensei musashi". "You have each been specially selected and assigned to this group"said sensei musashi. "how did ya do dat?" asked the red haired boy. "By putting all your names in a special hat and then picking them out in groups of four" said sensei musashi. The boy with the red hair scowled but personally Nathan thought it was funny. "talk later training time is now" said sensei musashi. And Nathan knew this would be interesting.

Beginning death

As Nathan died, he slowly closed his eyes thinking Why did that f$@#er just stab me? And then all he knew was light, for an eternity there was nothingness, just drifting in a white empty space. Nobody only vague awareness of light. Then something started to happen, his essence, all that was him started to swirl into a black open portal that had just opened up. He opened his eyes, what eyes!?!? He had a body!!! Good morning said a rather old Buddhist monk. Nathan sat up from the cot he had been lying down on ,He could only think of one thing to ask, Jesus? No chuckled the old man, he comes in after your service is done, all paradise, beaches, child hood pets, all the sweet stuff you could want. But until then you must serve in the earth sector defenses. Every one else goes straight to heaven and sit and enjoy all that is good. But some special few get assigned to the service, to defend the planet that they have originated from, and some times they get to partake in a foreign exchange military program. As Nathan was opening his mouth the old man kept talking right over him. How am I special? The old man asked, your special because inside of you is the imprint of a beast from from you planet waiting to be unlocked. ok Said Nathan. The old man blinked, nothing elese just ok? well ya said Nathan, I kinda died, I remember geting shanked by like a 6 inch blade. veary well then Training starts tomorrow and the old man got up and left the small bamboo room. Wow this is crazy Nathan thought. He decided to lye down for the time on a small cot. Crazy stuff he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

Moments that suck

He had fought through a horde of guards, beasts, and one black wizard. Now all David had to do was to cross the empty court chamber and stab the emperor where he sat on his throne. It had been easy to enter he reflected that one open servants door had been all anyone could ask for. He passed through the doorway he had been hiding behind and made a break for the emperor. Half way to the emperor about 1/10 of the royal army stepped out from behind the marble pillars that dotted the gleaming chamber. The emperor looked at him with a superior air and asked before you die mongrel, tell me how did you gain entrance? Still shocked by the guards David replied, a servants door. The emperor raised an eyebrow turned to a centurion that had come to sand behind him and said, told you, pay up Alexander. The prisoner? Asked the man called Alexander. Kill him replied the emperor. Davids last thoughts were, crap, this sucks.

Disney mixup

Have any of you ever considered what could happen if Disney studios got some of their stuff mixxed up? It would be utter chaos with the impressionable children of our world getting mixxed messages and stuff. Donald duck gets mixed with pirates of the Caribbean and BAM!!! we have a duck fighting skeleton pirates. And we have a pants less Orlando bloom hanging out with a female duck called daisy. WHEN WILL THE DUCKEY TYRANNY END??? anyhoo what if Mickey mouse and George of the jungle got mixed up? George would have to be clothed do all sorts of stuff while hanging out with a pantsless duck, a humanoid dog thing (or whatever Goofy is.), and a weird dog named after a planet. And Mickey would instantly be trampled by a mouse hating Shep (Georges pet elephant). What is the world coming to?

These writings have been the product of a rather large brain twitch and I hope that no one is offended. And if any one from Disney is reading this please don't have me assassinated.

DEATH TO BOREDOM!!!!!!!!!

Another thing everybody wants

So your out being a super hero with your monkey sidekick and horribly you turn your back for one moment to get a slerpey and BAM!!! Some supervillain (not even a really powerful one. Probably some one like Dr. Orange juice, or the Door Bell of Doom.) just death rays your monkey. What do you do now? Your monkey is dead. Go ahead and get what everybody wants more than a monkey, a VELOCIRAPTOR!!! Sure a monkey is fuzzy and intelligent but who wouldn't rather have a velociraptor on their side? So in conclusion if you chose the velociraptor you will get 5 wishes, the chicks (or guys if you are a girl) will dig you, and you will become immortal. Choose the now irrelevant monkey and instantly die with only time enough to slap yourself (hard this time.)


DEATH TO BOREDOM

Doom of the Earth

Ya all know how the worlds going to end right? The truth is that all of the earths cars are transformers! You cant find any thing wrong because the robots that make all the new transformers make the structure right but insert nanobots that start to change the cars as soon as they have passed all the futile tests that the factory uses to make sure that the cars work properly. And then all the cars wait in the car lots and those that are bought sit and study their human byers. They all wait for the signal to come so that they may feast. Cars don't really live on gas and oil but these things only sustain them, the cars survive on flesh, traveling from world to world consuming flesh in whatever form of transportation those peoples use. Why use transportation you ask? It is easer to transport the peoples, and who would expect the unintelligent beast of burden to be biding their time so that it could feast one day soon? these are ancient, they can wait, and they are powerful enemies. The earth is doomed! DOOOOOOOOMMMMMMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA SNORT GIGGLE HA HA HA HA HA HA WHEEZ GIGGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am human. I am also sane. This was all the creation of a active (if not overactive) imagination. I realize that this is not real and I hope no one will start a cult from this ranting. DEATH TO BOREDOM!!!!!!!